Friday, June 01, 2007

Uh, yeah. About that.




Alright, I am officially a failure when it comes to blogging. EVERYBODY knows (well, ok, that may be a bit of an overstatement, but it underscores my point, and is thus admissable =) that if you're going to blog, you need to be at least slightly consistent about it. Nobody wants to keep coming to a blog that is three months old. Geeze. Actually, though, the reason I've been so silent is because my "insides" have most definitely not been silent. Have you ever had so much going on in your chest that you couldn't find words to articulate it? At times like those, I would rather not say anything at all than spit out a few inadequate words to the soul-stirrings. You know, I bet that in heaven everybody will be able to perfectly express everything that they think and feel. How cool would that be? We wouldn't even have to all use words. It's like here on earth: people all have modes of expressing themselves. Some people find that release by screaming into a microphone, others strum a guitar or take pictures. Surely this is what makes life interesting; learning to see people through their various modes of communication. Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this...
A couple weeks ago I went to a David Crowder concert. Now, I absolutely love David Crowder, because he seems to find words for what's going on inside of me. It's kinda cool. Anyway, as much as I love this crazy-haired and slightly malnourished worship leaer (seriously, he looks like he just survived the Holocaust. Two words: Google Images) he was not the part of the evening that impacted me the most. (Notice that I did not use the word "inspire". My voice tends to drip with disdain when I say the word "inspire". Not that it's a bad word in and of itself. It's just been hijacked by far too many teenage girls when meeting boy bands: "Oh my gosh, like, you sooo inspired me, like, my life is changed forever". =) ANYWAY. Yes. David Crowder. Oh right, now I remember where I was going with that. The concert we went to happened to be the highlight of this youth conference. So...before Crowder played, this drama group called OneTimeBlind came on. I had no idea they were even going to be there, had never heard of them, and yet was completely blown away. They basically just came out and performed a few dramas, talked a few minutes, and sang a couple songs. And my heart was nearly beating out of my chest the entire time. See, Jesus was in each one of these little skits. I mean, technically it was just one of the guys in the group portraying Jesus, but still. So often I get caught up in my head trip of theological discussion, and completely lose my footing on the foundation of Jesus in the here and now. Watching this group on stage, I saw Jesus loving on people in such a real way. So much truth. Two things have come of this. First of all, I'm really getting into the arts....Drama and music are so powerful, and I really think they could be pivotal in reaching our broken culture. Me included. Also, though, I find myself coming back to this need for childlike faith. I can study religion and historical-criticism and theological paradigms all I want, but it doesn't help me love Jesus better. Sometimes, when my intellectual doubts get to be too much, I need someone to slap me upside the head and say "Sarah! You've flippin' forgotten your first love! Listen to that holy heartbeat inside of you and run into those arms of divine love." Hmm...

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