Explanations

I thought I should offer a bit of an explanation of what I'm doing with my life. When I tell people that I'm a Phi/Rel Major with minors in Bio and Psych, I get some awfully quirky looks. What the hey happened? Well, let me tell ya. When I came to Spring Arbor as a freshman, I was bound and determined to be a doctor and wasted no time in fitting as many major and minors into my four-year plan as I possibly could. I justified all this with some very honorable philanthropic jargon, but truth be told, I simply wanted to prove to the world, and mostly to myself, that I was worth something. My mind was filled with images of me in some African utopia, saving thousands of little kids with my superb knowledge of the human body. Not only could I do God's work, but I could also gain the prestige that more people will admit that they want (if they're honest...or maybe I'm just exposing my own shortcomings....Oh well.) There was just one small catch in all this. My heart was not in it. As much as I tried, I could not muster up any passion for a medical career. Now, of course I understand the importance of sticking with something - no pain, no gain. But that is assuming that you actually desire the end goal. The way I see it is this: You only live once. You could die anytime. You might as well do what you love and find a way to get paid to do it. So.
I really wasn't looking to go into Philosophy/Religion. In fact, before this past spring I had never even seriously considered it. But, I did find myself getting awfully jealous of my friends in the Phi/Rel department. The things that I thought about all the time were the things that they got credit for studying. I mean, honestly, I would sit in my Organic Chemistry class and make ponder the spiritual journey of Dr. Baldwin.
I started asking the big questions when I was pretty young. How do we know God exists? Why don't the things in the Bible happen today? How do we know Christianity is true after all? Is the Bible really accurate? Is there any power and mystery and wonder and hope in the world after all? These are the questions that I've wrestled with for years, the questions that keep me awake at night. So...I started taking random classes that had nothing to do with pre-med...I mean, they really, really didn't fit into "The Plan". But I was so hungry for the content of these courses that I couldn't stay away. First was Survey of Worldviews. I loved the class - it dared to ask the questions that I thought were forbidden at a Christian college. My word, I got to debate the existence of God, and even examine New Age, nihilism, and atheistic existentialism! What's not to love? This is the stuff that matters to me- people's hearts, meaning...If we don't know why we're here, why should we do anything at all? We go to school to get a degree to get a job to make money to put kids through college to get a degree to....You see where this is going. There must be more to life. Sorry for that rabbit trail. Anyway, my soul was thirsting for a Love that was bigger than my humanity, and I knew that I wasn't the only one. The next semester, last spring, I took Basic Discipleship. Somewhere in the middle of the semester, the professor started asking me about my major, reeling me in, if you will. He thought I should be a writer ( I hate to mention that, because now all of you will be inspecting this blog critically instead of taking it for the aimless meandering that I'm intending it to be.) Anyway, he put some ideas into my head, thinking I could be a Phi/Rel professor, writing and guiding students on a journey to truth.
Well, something just clicked inside of me. It was seriously like love at first sight. Kind of cool, really. It was one of those "Aha!" moments (which occur in the parietal lobe in the brain...in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't, and now you are wishing I would stop going off on these tangents and just say what I have to say, right?) ANYWAY, all of a sudden this door opened wide in front of me, and I could see all kinds of possibilities...I could get a doctorate, which would enable me to teach in a college setting if I want. If I end up being a professor, it will be for the primary reason of mentoring students, especially girls. I want to challenge students to question what they think they know, because I firmly believe that Truth can hold its own in the face of questions. Also, though, I could use education in a cross-cultural setting. I LOVE anything slightly life-threatening, so I've been having all these ideas about being a professor in a closed country, and doing undercover mission work. Flippin' sweet!
Alright. In practical terms, (I hate that word; practicality is my least favorite virtue) this means lots of school. Lots and lots and lots of school. It is a common joke among us ministry dorks that a degree in Phi/Rel qualifies you to work in any McDonald's in the world. Yah. After I graduate from SAU, I'm planning on going to seminary (whoever thought THAT would happen). My thoughts on that are being drawn to Princeton Theological Seminary, Azusa Pacific (that's out in California), Asbury (in Kentucky), or Fuller Theolical Seminary. We'll see. I don't want to go too far down the liberal routes (no Divine Feminine for me, thanks), but I do want to be challenged. After I get an M. Div, I'll probably go right on to do a Ph.D., hopefully in another country, mostly likely in Europe. But in all of this, I have to remember that life happens, and these plans could very well change drastically. So be forewarned...=)